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Infertility involves grief and loss whether it is a profound distinct loss at the onset of treatment or a gradual accumulation of losses over time.  The losses of infertility may involve the loss of individual and/or couple’s health, physical and psychological well-being, life goals, status, prestige, self-confidence, and assumption of fertility, loss of privacy and control of one’s body, and anticipatory grief at the possibility of being childless.  Infertility may typically involve grief responses such as shock, disbelief, anger, blame, shame, and guilt, while over time, feelings of loss of control, dimished self-esteem, chronic bereavement, anxiety, and depression may persist.

It has even been suggested that infertility is a disenfranchised grief in that infertility is a loss that can lead to intense grief, although others may not recognize it or perceive it as minor.  This is a different kind of grief because the lost relationship has no legitimacy, is socially unrecognized or unacknowledged.  The griever is typically not recognized as having suffered a loss and justified in grieving.  This makes this type of grief as a more complicated bereavement because the usual supports that facilitate grieving and the healing process are absent.  Infertility may be so socially unacceptable that the same of the diagnosis, treatments for it, and/or family-building alternatives may lead the infertile couple to keep his or her losses hidden to minimize social stigma.

Given all of this it is critical that you don’t wait until you can barely move through your day to get support.  In fact I believe it is important once you realize that you are on this journey to seek out a qualified infertility counselor/therapist and a support group to deal with the process.  This journey can be the hardest thing a couple will go through in their life and it doesn’t have to be done alone, nor should it.  Because it is hard for others to grasp the pain you are dealing with I do encourage you to get further support.  Resolve.org is a great place to start to find clinicians and groups in your local area.  Here in Oakland, CA we have support groups, workshops, and individual work. Contact me for further information at amoreena@gmail.com.

Coping with Fertility Challenges
Mind-Body Workshop by Amoreena Berg, MFT
Monday, February 8, 6:00PM
Click for more info and to Register

Struggles with fertility can be one of the most difficult things for a woman – and a couple – to face. Is this infertility battle taking control of your life and ruining your days? Are you losing sleep over your fertility issues and withdrawing from life? I am a family therapist specializing in fertility issues, and yes have been there too – I have my own personal journey with fertility issues.

This talk will provide you with some tools to get the stress of infertility under control. This Co-ed, gay-friendly group will teach you mind-body based practices and techniques to ease the stress of infertility. We discuss treatment and family building options, encourage questions and conversation, and provide support and understanding in challenging times.

Location: Lolo Integrative Medicine Clinic- Integrative Women’s Health Program
3300 Webster Street, Ste. 408, Oakland, CA 94609

For questions or more information about this and other events, please contact 510.444.2772 or visit www.ebiwomenshealth.com

For thousands of years, infertility was considered a female problem. The word “barren” sounds almost comical now but was a commonplace label a century ago. In The Cottage Physician, written at the end of the 19th century, a section entitled “Barrenness” lists possible causes, including “want of tone or strength in the system” and “nervous debility.” Treatments included “cold bathing, general tonics or strengtheners to the system, electricity applied locally” as well as “abstinence from sexual indulgence for a time.” Fortunately, medicine has progressed considerably since then and the diagnosis and treatment of infertility have improved dramatically. But the misconception that it’s solely a female problem has persisted.

About 40 percent of infertility is due to a male factor. Unfortunately, many couples and even doctors neglect to evaluate the male partner – leading to unnecessary testing on the female as well as needless anxiety, cost, and delay in starting a family. So don’t forget to have a basic sperm analysis and even an extensive one before you waste more time then is necessary. I have seen plenty of women go through this process for years before getting these tests done and discovering it had nothing to do with them!

Source: Dr. Jon LaPook

Are you letting this “infertility” battle take control of your life and ruin it? Are you losing sleep over your fertility issues and withdrawing from life?  Don’t worry, I have been there too. 

There so many people who may not know if they are infertile. However, chances are high that if you have had some problems getting pregnant, then thoughts of whether you can really conceive and give birth to a child must have crossed your mind, at least at some point in your life. You will surely question why, or what’s wrong and wonder whether you could be infertile.

You ask, yourself what the signs of infertility may be or think I am over 35 and my odds are going against me. Time is running out!  You begin to think that your dreams of having children may never happen. Your emotions can really get to its worst and then you become desperate, mad, totally stressed out and go into despair. For God’s sake, don’t let that happen to you! If you think that you are infertile, what you should do is try to learn everything you can on this subject.  The trick is to not let this consume you and ruin your life. Easier said then done, right. Not really, only if you “think” it is too hard will it be.

In my Oakland bi-weekly “fertility” group we are working on “letting go” and to not continue to focus on what we are lacking but more on what we have now, today.  All we have is today and if we are in our heads about tomorrow or yesterday then we are missing the beauty of life today.  I truly believe that being mindful during this process is the key to being able to handle it and successfully getting pregnant.  But you need to come to a place where you are okay with either way it works out. You don’t “need” a child, you only “want” one…that is the goal that I want the women in my group to walk away remembering.  I am a licensed MFT therapist in the East Bay area who has been practice since 2000 and have had a personal journey with fertility issues.  Trust me, I get it. 

If you are interested in more information about this topic, individual therpay, or our groups, please contact Amoreena Berg at 650-224-1796 or email amoreena@gmail.comwww.amoreenabergmft.com

Baby Dust to you all in 2010!

Reset Your Stress Button

It’s winter and many of us are dealing with the weather challenges, travel, visiting relatives, eating unhealthy food and not getting enough exercise. Plus, we have the daily challenges of life, relationships, financial challenges, our job (or lack of one).

It’s easy to get scattered, overwhelmed, or stressed out. It’s easy to forget to take good care of your precious self.

We bring this up because mastery over any fertility issue is very much a mental game.

Sometimes even the best of us need to retreat to refocus our thoughts, energies and resources.

I personally struggle like everyone else to live a balanced and successful life. I have to take the time to remind myself that being in a bad mood or feeling stressed out is a choice, and that I can choose to look at my life and situation differently.

When you realize that you are experiencing burnout from the reality of life, it’s time for you to bring to mind “the skill of awareness.”

What this means is that you have an awareness that you are not in a resourceful mindset or mental state. You need to give yourself permission to nurture yourself and honor your emotions.

It’s important to remember that feelings are energy and they need to be acknowledged.

Do yourself a big favor and create an outlet that allows you to get out of your negative state of mind and honor your feelings.

I love to talk walks at the nearby forest reserve. It’s immensely calming to look out onto the trees and smell the fresh air.  Squirrels and other critters play and it is quiet and peaceful. All of my problems and concerns become insignificant for this moment. I give myself permission to quiet my mind and become totally immersed in the Present Moment. When I come home, I feel like a different person. I have a different perspective on my problems and often come up with a creative solution.

What can you do to play hooky and do something that will renew your soul, give you temporary escape from life’s challenges and demands, and give you some resourceful insights?

Write down some of the ways you will reset your stress button. And then schedule some time to make it happen!

By the way you are not dealing with infertility issues anymore, please stop telling that story!  Your are fertile and have no more issues, you are healing as we speak and your body knows exactly what to do.  Trust and have faith that is it healing.

Melatonin and Your Ovaries

A new study from the University of Texas Health Science Center has confirmed that the hormone melatonin plays an essential role in reproductive health.

Melatonin is a hormone that your body produces during darkness. It is not produced during daylight hours or when your lights are on. Melatonin helps to regulate your day-night biorhythm and is a powerful antioxidant.

In addition, melatonin has a direct on your ovarian function.

Authors of the study concluded: “Melatonin could become an important medication for improving ovarian function and oocyte [egg] quality, and open new opportunities for the management of several ovarian diseases.”

An earlier report from the St. Louis University School of Nursing said that light exposure may affect menstrual cycles and symptoms through the inhibition of melatonin. The also said that women with PCOS may have a greater vulnerability to the influence of light-dark exposure.

What does all this mean?

It means that adequate melatonin production during darkness could improve the functioning of your ovaries, and possibly also improve the quality of your eggs.

People who are “night owls” and leave the lights on until late at night are less likely to produce enough melatonin. Nightly melatonin production is also reduced if you turn on the lights when you get out of bed to go to the bathroom.

Melatonin production is enhanced if you sleep in total darkness.

It’s quite important to get to bed at a reasonably early hour, in a very dark room. You want to give your body a chance to start producing melatonin.

Getting a good night’s sleep in total darkness should be an integral part of your strategy for dealing with PCOS.

Ask your doctor about supplemental melatonin. It is available in the United States without a prescription.

Sources:
Tamura H et al, Melatonin and the ovary: physiological and pathophysiological implications, Fertil Steril. 2009 Jul;92(1):328-43
Barron ML et al, Light exposure, melatonin secretion, and menstrual cycle parameters: an integrative review, Biol Res Nurs. 2007 Jul;9(1):49-69

First Consult Package!!

My practice is fortunate enough to be in a holistic wellness center that has wonderful practioners of all types.  Because of this I am able to offer unique packages to my clients at reduced rates.  Currently I am running a great special on first time clients with an intial consult for 1.5 hrs and a 30 minute massage (by a professional massage therapist) following our appointment!! This package is $130!  Ongoing massages from any of the therapists will be discounted if you are a client of mine.  So take advantage of this opportunity.

There are a variety of ways to relieve stress, depression, and anxiety. Traditionally talk therapy is extremely helpful, but along with other modalities the recovery rate is much higher.  I believe in treating the body as a whole instead of parts which is why I practice at a center that offers all these options.  If you are interested give me a call or email at 650-224-1796 or amoreena@gmail.com.

Happy Thanksgiving!

You may be surprised to know how prevalent polycystic ovaries are among young women. This information from the PCOS Health review was interesting to me so I thought I would pass it along. I think it is important to know the difference between PCO and PCOS.

A report in the September issue of the Gynecological Endocrinology medical journal  said about 4 of every 5 normal, healthy women have polycystic ovaries. However, as women get older, the rate of polycystic ovaries decreases.

We were surprised that polycystic ovaries are so common. However, polycystic ovaries is not the same thing as polycystic ovary syndrome.

In the case of polycystic ovaries, the ovaries are larger than normal, and there are a series of undeveloped follicles that appear in clumps, somewhat like a bunch of grapes. Polycystic ovaries are not especially troublesome and may not even affect your fertility.

However, when the cysts cause a hormonal imbalance, a pattern of symptoms may develop. This pattern of symptoms is called a syndrome. These symptoms are the difference between polycystic ovary syndrome and polycystic ovaries.

So you can have polycystic ovaries without having PCOS. However, nearly all women with PCOS will have polycystic ovaries.

The good news is that you can deal with both problems with the same approach: improved diet and lifestyle.

PCOS Health Review

Thyroid has a lot to do with our fertility and ovulation.  I have posted some information here regarding the variety of thyroid conditions.  This is a standard test that should be done to rule out this possibility, however there is a thyroid antibody test that is rarely done.  I myself am someone who has been affected by this condition. It has taken me almost 3 years and 2 miscarriages to figure this out.  I just happen to ask about getting my thyroid antibody test done and it came back positive.  So do your research and ask for all the tests, you never know!  This is the last place I suspected to find the answers.

Hyperthyroidism – or having an overactive thyroid gland – can pose special concerns during pregnancy. When the body delivers too much thyroid hormone, both the mother and the baby can suffer. Miscarriages, premature births, and intrauterine growth retardation can occur when the disorder goes undiagnosed or untreated. Pregnant women with hyperthyroidism can also develop high blood pressure, and are at greater risk of heart conditions.

While a thyroid condition can sometimes complicate the process of getting – or staying – pregnant, the good news is that when your disease is properly managed, most of you with thyroid conditions — whether hypothyroid or hyperthyroid — can have a safe, uneventful pregnancy and delivery. Taking your medications, keeping your thyroid levels — including TSH and T4 — under control, getting regular care with a specialist familiar with treating pregnant thyroid patients, and taking charge of your own health appears to be key to a successful outcome.

In some cases, pregnancy can actually lessen the symptoms of thyroid disease, and you may be one of the many women who enjoy a nine-month respite from some of the undesirable effects of thyroid conditions.

If I could urge women with thyroid disease who are contemplating pregnancy to do one thing, it would be to become educated about how thyroid dysfunction can affect fertility and pregnancy – and what to do about it. Read all you can, ask questions, and urge your doctors to perform the necessary blood tests to keep your levels in check.

Will my thyroid disease hamper my ability to get pregnant?

Sometimes – but certainly not always – thyroid disease can affect your fertility. According to Dr. Sheldon Rubenfeld, a practicing thyroidologist, and Founding Chairman of the Thyroid Society for Education and Research, fairly common problems caused by thyroid dysfunction are anovulation (no ovulation, or release of an egg) and menstrual irregularities. With no egg to fertilize, conception is impossible.

Thyroid dysfunction can halt ovulation by upsetting the balance of the body’s natural reproductive hormones. One way to tell if you’re ovulating is to test the level of a pituitary hormone called LH (or luteinizing hormone) by using an ovulation predictor kit. LH stimulates the ovaries to release an egg. The kit will show you if you have that surge in LH that indicates ovulation. If there is too much or too little thyroid hormone, ovulation might not occur. Remember…even though you may be menstruating regularly, you may not be ovulating – and may never know that fact until after years of infertility.

In addition, some women experience a short luteal phase. The luteal phase is the timeframe between ovulation and onset of menstruation. The luteal phase needs to be of sufficient duration — a normal luteal phase is approximately 13 to 15 days — to nurture a fertilized egg. A shortened luteal phase can cause what appears to be infertility, but is in fact failure to sustain a fertilized egg, with loss of the very early pregnancy at around the same time as menstruation would typically begin.

Dr. Rubenfeld said that “the mechanisms by which thyroid problems interfere with fertility are often unknown, but there is no question that other aspects of thyroid function affect fertility.” For example, Dr. Rubenfeld said that hypothyroidism can cause an increase in prolactin, the hormone produced by the pituitary gland that induces and maintains the production of breast milk in a post-partum woman. Excess prolactin has a negative effect on fertility – sometimes preventing ovulation, or sometimes causing irregular or absent monthly cycles.

The increase in prolactin may be caused by an elevation of a hormone from the hypothalamus called TRH (or thyrotropin releasing hormone) that stimulates the pituitary gland to send out both prolactin and TSH.

Some women with hypothyroidism also have polycystic ovaries, or cysts on the ovaries, which hamper ovulation and can cause fertility problems as well.

This all sounds pretty grim. Should I even bother trying? What can I do to maximize my chances of getting pregnant?

Yes, you should bother trying – there are many, many success stories (I happen to be one of them, as it only took a few months to get pregnant with my daughter). You shouldn’t go into this thinking it’s going to be a long, arduous process. But attempting pregnancy with a thyroid condition may require a little preparation.

First of all, talk to your doctor about when you should attempt conception. Many doctors think TSH levels of 3, 4, or even 5 may acceptable to try to get pregnant. But research suggests otherwise. In 1994, a study in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism looked at pregnant women with thyroid antibodies and TSH in the normal range. The study found that women with autoimmune thyroid disease had TSH values significantly higher, though still normal, in the first trimester than in women with healthy pregnancies used as controls.

The higher TSH level of the women with autoimmune thyroid disease? 1.6.

The normal TSH level for the control group of pregnant woman without autoimmune thyroid disease? 0.9. A TSH of .9 is a far cry from the so-called “normal” TSH levels of 3 or 4 or 5 that some doctors feel are no impediment whatsoever to getting — or staying — pregnant.

My endocrinologist at the time I was trying to get pregnant believed very firmly that most women with a thyroid problem should be maintained at a TSH level of between 1 and 2 in order to help them get pregnant — and maintain the pregnancy.

Second, ascertain whether you’re ovulating. An excellent, empowering book is Toni Wechsler’s Taking Charge of Your Fertility.. You can learn how to use basal temperature and other fertility signs to chart your monthly hormonal cycle. You can also use an over-the-counter ovulation predictor kits, available for around $10 at the drugstore, to confirm ovulation. Or the more expensive ovulation predictor electronic devices can also be used.

What if I can’t get pregnant, but my thyroid tests “normal?” Or what if I test positive for “antibodies?”

Some women who have fertility problems actually have underlying autoimmune thyroid problems, but they and their doctors are not aware. If you or someone you know is having difficulty getting pregnant, or is suffering recurrent miscarriage, thyroid antibodies should be tested.

Many doctors do not appear to know about this link between antibodies and infertility, yet it is published in conventional research journals. The respected journal Obstetrics & Gynecology reported that the presence of antithyroid antibodies increases the risk of miscarriage. And according to U.S. research reported in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism, that risk of miscarriage can be twice as high for women who have antithyroid antibodies.

Researchers have also demonstrated that antithyroid antibodies can cause greater difficulty conceiving after in vitro fertilization, regardless of whether or not there are clinical symptoms of hypothyroidism. The researchers had greater success in achieving successful pregnancies when they gave low doses of heparin (an anti blood clotting agent) and aspirin and/or intravenous immunoglobulin G (IVIG) to women who had antithyroid antibodies.

Thyroid INFO by Mary Shomon

Support Group Starting!

Our first support group for women going through infertility issues is starting November 21 from 12-1pm.  That is a Saturday and this group will meet bi-weekly for 6 sessions.  My goal is for this group to be a safe supportive environment for you to be able to express yourself as well as learn mindfulness tools to help cope through your journey.  Women in all phases of the infertility process are welcome, whether you are doing natural, IUI, IVF, or deciding what is next we would love for you to join us.  We are meeting at the Integrative Women’s Health Center in Oakland, 3300 Webster Street. If you would like more information please email or call me, 650-224-1796 amoreena@gmail.com.

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